With The Meaningful Albums Series, I will tell you when I first encountered an album, what my most vivid memory is, and what an album means to me. Today I will give you an insight into my life with one of the greatest albums ever made: 'Ocean Machine: Biomech' by Devin Townsend.
First encounter:
Waaaaaay back at the beginning of the 2000s, I read an interview with Devin Townsend in metal magazine Aardschok. He was interviewed about 'Physicist', where he mentioned his Hevy Devy record label. Curious as I was, I went to the label's website and scrolled through his albums when I saw this blue album cover, 'Ocean Machine'. I am fascinated by the ocean and everything weird that lives in it, and in the time that this record was presented to me, I had not seen or swum in a real ocean for 5 or 6 years. I went to Indonesia twice with my parents in '96 en '97 and the first time I went snorkeling on the island Ceram, I stayed in the water for 3 hours. It was the first time I saw tropical fishes with so many colors and living coral in their natural habitat. I dove up shells, swum with the fishes and I almost drowned. Fortunately, my father was fishing and he caught me. I will never forget these memories and the people there taught me that you can be happy even when you don't have much.
And that's why I needed this record, it reminded me of that time. I downloaded 'Life' on the site and I instantly loved it. My hunt for 'Ocean Machine' began. Remember, this was in the 2000s and I did not know about mp3's, eBay, mail-order, or anything. The only thing I knew was that the only place where they could have it was in Amsterdam. I called up my best friend and we took a train to Amsterdam. We always went to the Boudisque, a local record shop, which is not there anymore, unfortunately. They had everything from cult horror movies to grindcore records with the nastiest album art (I'm looking at you Torsofuck and Lymphatic Phlegm). And there I found 'Ocean Machine'. I bought it and listened to it for a month non-stop.
The most vivid memory of this album:
I lived together with my then-girlfriend in a small town called Winschoten in the upper northeast of the province of Groningen. This was 2005/2006. I moved in with her and all we had was a large room, a couch, and a loft bed. We had to share the bathroom with an old man and another couple who made the loudest sounds during sex I ever heard. I just lost my temporary job at an industrial bakery and applied for a job that matched my degree (social legal services) in Leeuwarden. I bought a suit and a train ticket with my girlfriend's money. The job interview went alright and when I got home, I got a phone call.
I did not get the job.
I was furious. At everything and everyone. Most of all, I was mad at myself. You must understand that I was sick of living at home with my parents in Alkmaar, just like every 21-year-old, and I wanted to live on my own. But this, living together in a small town was not what I wanted. I just made real friends in Alkmaar and we were close. Now I had to say to them, 'hey guys if you want to come over, just take the train. It only takes four hours to travel from Alkmaar to Winschoten'. I wanted to stay in Alkmaar, and I did not have the balls to say that.
Then there was the racism. I am half Indonesian half Dutch and I look foreign. One night we heard some people whispering outside our window. And before I could get out of the loft bed someone screamed 'Go back to where you came from, filthy foreigner' or something like that. They knocked on the window and shouted some more of that stuff, and then they left. Humanity is weird.
The last thing that made me mad was that I felt alone. My girlfriend was visiting her parents who lived in a really really really really really really small village nearby. I had a falling out with them, so I did not join her. I did not want to call my parents because I thought I could handle this on my own, it was my choice to be this far away from them and I should deal with the consequences. I did not want to call my friends because I thought all we did was have fun with each other and when I called them for something serious like this, they would discontinue the friendship. Looking back now, I think I was too ashamed of asking for help. I believe my parents and those friends would've really helped me if I asked them.
So, what did I do? I took my portable cd-player and looked through my CDs. I needed to listen to something that would cleanse me from all this negativity. I needed something big to get swallowed by. I found 'Ocean Machine' and started listening. Then I started drinking red wine and whiskey. Before I started to get really drunk, I grabbed my coat and went outside. It was raining and I did not know where I was going. But I remember that every emotion came out. I did not walk, I almost ran and I mouthed every word, I wanted to scream them as loud as Devin could. The only thing I saw where streetlights reflected in puddles, the only thing I felt was a strange kind of catharsis.
I listened to the entire album three times before I found my way back. My girlfriend was already home and was asleep. I did not wake her and just went to sleep.
The next day I told her that I did not get the job and that I was not happy in this place. We moved to Lelystad the next month. Three months later I moved back in with my parents. Alone.
What it meant to me:
For me, Ocean Machine is a true friend who really knows me and says 'hey man, I know you are hurt, you've been through a lot and you made some bad decisions. But we all do that. There is no formula for living, everybody just does something. In the end, when you finish listening to this record, you will know exactly what I mean. And if you do not, just scream your fucking lungs out.'
Tracklist:
Seventh Wave
Life
Night
Hide Nowhere
Sister
3 A.M.
Voices In The Fan
Greetings
Regulator
Funeral
Bastard
The Death Of Music
Thing Beyond Things